Nicotine Gum vs. the Urge to Kill

June 1st 2011:

Okay, it has been a few hours since my near melt-down, and the Nicorette gum seems to be doing the trick.

The urge to kill has subsided, my brain is once again functioning at an almost normal level, and I am again able to form coherent thoughts and complete sentences.

I have to say, I was reluctant to try the gum again. I had tried it once before, back in 2001, and  it did not go well...

My then-roommates and I got a box of the mint Nicorette gum (original flavor) thinking we would all try to quit smoking together. Seemed like a good idea and all, but we each popped out a piece of the gum from the plastic packaging, stuck it in our mouths, took a couple chews, then MY GOD!

It tasted like black pepper, dirt and just a hint of bile, and the burning sensation it cause was incredible. Gagging, we all bee-lined for the garbage can, toilet, anywhere we could spit the disgusting shit out (and possibly throw up) in. It was seriously, the WORST thing I had ever tasted.

We immediately lit cigarettes just to get the taste out of our mouths, and the box of Nicorette was shoved into a cupboard, where it was happily forgotten until that weekend...

Saturday night, we came home to find the house trashed. My husky, Priest, had gone through the cupboards (yes, the bastard opened them himself) eating his way through a box of cereal, some raw spaghetti noodles, a few unidentifiable items and the ENTIRE remaining box of Nicorette gum... even more astounding than the fact that he was still alive and unharmed, was that he could stomach eating the nasty-ass stuff and seemed rather stoked about it.

So, until now, that was my only experience with nicotine gum (and for you PETA folks, the dog was fine other than a raging case of diarrhea the next day, and is alive and well to this day - baby latches were installed on all cupboards immediately following the incident).

Anyhoo, the fresh mint flavor is a vast improvement over the original - it actually taste like mint, imagine that? I do have a problem remembering to only chew it a few times then tuck it away between cheek and gum (per the instructions), but it does calm the nerves and suppress the urge to smoke.

So far, so good...